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Self sabotage

by | Jul 2, 2014 | Uncategorized | 143 comments

youdeserve it

 

 

Here’s a little section from our future book, that I wrote today. I feel like it would benefit some people to read now! <3

It won’t change until you do!
We live in a society that teaches us, that we can’t be happy for “no reason”. We need a deeply satisfying romantic relationship first, or a really successful career first, or whatever it may be. But really those are just excuses to not be happy from our ego. Happiness is always a choice; it’s a state of mind, and being. If we aren’t feeling happy on the inside, we wouldn’t recognize a deeply satisfying relationship or amazing job opportunity if it was delivered to our door step. We’d probably think something like: “Yeah right, this a joke.” “Great things like this don’t actually happen in real life.” “That was too easy, there must be a catch.” See what I mean? How easily you obtain those dreams or desires are completely dependent on your internal state, and receptivity to those things. I had a client of mine come to me about this new girl he was seeing. She was so amazing in his eyes; she made him feel really good. He had previously just gotten out of a long relationship, and felt that morally it was wrong to be so happy so shortly after a break up. But really the only reason his previous relationship lasted so long was because they were both too afraid to break up with each other, and they hadn’t even seen each other or spoken in months! He felt guilty about how his last relationship ended, so he didn’t feel like he deserved a good and deeply satisfying relationship afterward. He believed his intentions were good, but he was listening to an ego excuse as to why he couldn’t be happy and in love right now. It was self sabotage, the only reason we find the need to sabotage ourselves is when we don’t feel like we deserve those things on some level. If you had just done a lot of heavy labor for someone, then they went to give you money you’d take it right? Because you knew you deserved it, you earned it. But where did earning things that make us feel good or help us out even come from? We have a right to be happy thriving just for existing. Even society teaches us that we have to earn being alive by most of the time getting some self sacrificing job just so we can afford to eat and live. I knew someone who dated this guy on and off for a while. Why they were so on and off, was because he struggled with an addiction with alcohol. When he would get drunk, he would get into all kinds of trouble. It cost him jobs, family, and even someone that he was deeply in love with. He was a really great and sensitive guy. But when he drank he just wasn’t himself. He allowed his addiction to come between everything he ever loved or cared about. He was sabotaging himself. Sure he wanted to be happy, everyone wants to be happy. But if we’re not receptive to happiness we’re not going to maintain it in our lives. The only reason we end up sabotaging ourselves or our happiness, is when we feel like we don’t deserve it. The only reason we feel like we don’t deserve it is because at some point we developed feelings of inadequacy. Whether it’s sabotaging ourselves from passing the Bar exam by avoiding studying, or going out all the time and getting drunk instead of buckling down and facing ourselves, our fears, and our dreams. We just get afraid that it won’t work out because we don’t feel that we’re good enough to achieve it on the inside. Those beliefs are true, because if you feel that you aren’t good enough to achieve it, then you’re not going to. But if you feel that you are good enough to achieve your dreams, you will achieve them.

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