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It is safe to be me

by | Aug 7, 2014 | Uncategorized | 150 comments

little gianna

Meet little Gianna, she’s been realizing some stuff lately.

I’ve “randomly” had a few experiences in the last few days, of clients and friends projecting some stuff on to me, which comes with the gig. About 99.9% of the time I’m all about love and healing, and healing can be really hard sometimes, because we have these beliefs set in our minds that we made to protect us from being hurt again after experiencing some pretty harsh traumas. (we each get pushed to our own limitations and some are different than others) Love, and healing causes you to face those things inside of you, see what it is you’re actually afraid of, face the pain inside of you that you’re holding onto etc. Even though sometimes I REALLY REALLY don’t want to, I just face my self anyways, because I know that by doing that I’m freeing up room in my being for more love, inside and out, and love feels REALLY REALLY good. <3 Every experience is never one sided. Me experiencing these situations in my conscious reality has caused me to feel a certain way, a little sad, because I really genuinely just want to help, because I really care about myself and other people. It made me feel like other people don’t really understand me, and it’s not safe to be myself because it’ll just set other people off. Which of course is a wound from little Gianna that just wants approval, she wants everyone to see how sweet and special she is and to be acknowledged for her work. This is because of some experiences in childhood where little Gianna goodness wasn’t acknowledged by a parent, and little Gianna also experienced a really abusive upbringing and wasn’t able to fully express herself with out repercussions that made her feel like it wasn’t safe to be her sweet self, especially because that sweet little girl got buried underneath all the repressed and unexpressed emotions like anger, fear, sadness, etc. And in school everyone thought my sister and I were weirdos, because we’re were always pretty open about our “psychic” abilities. Lately we’ve been expanding our business a lot locally, and there’s some fear there, like people won’t understand me, and they’ll reject me. I think it’s not safe to be me. Thanks to my persistent self work, I’m releasing these old out dated beliefs, and allowing my self to have all the success and love I deserve, by facing my pain, fear, and “inner demons”. Which sometimes is really hard and scary, but it’s oh so very worth it. I am grateful for everyone in my life, even if they trigger me. I am grateful to be able to move forward, heal, and feel even more love, in side of me and outside of me. Because our lives are just a mirror of what’s going on inside of us.
The option for love is always there, and I am always there for you, but if you are not ready to let the love in I understand, at one point in my life I guarded the crap out of my wounds, did a lot of lashing out in the process, got all up in that victim-hood state. So when you’re ready, the love is always there! <3
Becoming conscious and facing it is 3/4ths of it, the last 1/4th is expressing it, through creating expressing, some tears, hitting some pillows, etc. And replacing it with a better belief!
I feel so much better after writing this.
“It is safe to be me, it is safe to be me, it is safe to be me!”

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